Life Audit - the day before the day before!

New Year's Day is traditionally the time to make resolutions and changes for the better.  Hmm!  Experts say it takes just 21 days for people to adopt changes for good while  all the statistics show that by 18th January most of us will have failed to stick to our promises to self!

Life Auditing is all about being sure about the changes you want to make in the first place and about planning how to bring them about.  That's why the first of its three stages is about taking stock of either your whole life or one tiny part of it you want to improve.  With 2012 coming to a close why not plan to begin to audit your life in 2013.  With the brand new site offering all charts to fill in online now plus a mobile app so you keep track of what you do while on the move,  You've no excuses to be ready for whatever challenges the New Year brings. 

Relationships - Sound-bites

When I told a friend I was going to attend a special dinner offering a "Tasting Menu" and accompanying "Flight of Wines" with seven people, of whom I knew only three, she was horrified on both counts.  Firstly the idea of an imposed menu, regardless of what you do and don't like, appalled her and secondly the thought of spending seven courses making small talk with strangers having no known conversation touchstones.   This friend, I should add has a wide, close knit perfectly formed social circle of friends who feel nurtured by her and who nurture back in turn.

The result however, of an amazing supper at The H-H restaurant near Exeter www.the-hh.co.uk did quite the opposite to realising her fears. 

The tasting menu included scallops, steak, truffle emulsions, terrine, foie gras and artisan cheeses and without the distractions of choice the conversation became a la carte, was free-ranging and eclectic.  Religion, politics, sex, drugs and rock and roll all had their moments along with  the benefits or otherwise of NLP and the Landmark Forum, below the radar tax changes, TB and a badger cull, immersive theatre and cheese-tasting.  We discovered who, if they could, would 'channel' Elizabeth I, Kris Kristofferson, Gina Lollobrigida and Boris Johnson and what the 30 year life plan was of the birthday celebrant. (More of that tomorrow)  It was a discursive version of supper itself - still pondering the Wine Flight!

Citizenship - Walk on by?

So -  amid all the Christmas shoppers we spotted the prone body of a young man lying in a Corporation plant bed.  He was deathly white and apparently not breathing and had no shoes on.  I called the police and an ambulance. People with me said not to give my name or address. Why?  Nobody else was stopping.  I called over a lad skate-boarding near-by to explain to the emergency services our exact location.  He looked at at the 'body' and shrugging said it looked like an overdose.  Then at last someone else did stop who had medical training and was able to detect the faintest breath.  Just as we heard the sirens, the young man's eyes fluttered open and he staggered to his feet.  Still looking like death he stumbled off despite our pleas to wait for an ambulance.  He looked at me - terrifyingly it was a stare of pure malevolence.   Some one said he had been 'acting', the skateboarder said he was a nutter, the police said we'd done the right thing and went off into the crowds to try and find him.  I was left very shaken.  
Later on the way home, after the shops were closed, we heard and then saw  a few members of the Sally Army, all uniformed off with their shiny brass instruments.    They were randomly playing carols on a deserted street corner to absolutely no one and I couldn't see a collecting tin in sight.  They shouted Merry Christmas as they moved off, still playing.  They cheered me up but of course their main mission is to help people like the lad we found.  http://www.salvationarmy.org.uk.  

Time Management - On your mobile!

An often used excuse for not managing time better is that there is never enough time itself left in a day to think about how you might have used your waking hours better. Let alone then consider how you wasted any time and as a result missed any opportunities.  
Now there is no excuse because The Life Audit has launched its own Life Auditing App so you can account for what you do on the move - when, where and with whom.

It's available from iTunes and from Google Play for iPhone and Android priced just £4.99 and is the best investment you will ever make in working out how to reclaim the lost minutes and hours that could change your life for the better and make every second count. 

Home - a quart into a pint pot

    First of all what's a quart?  I thought this as I was working out how to fit necessary belongings into a one room living space that was one twelfth the size of my home.  A quart in fact doesn't come near the economies to scale I am making in terms of furnishings and belongings.  (A quart being actually 2 pints while we are having to scale down much, much more than that.)  
    However the old adage you can only sleep in one bed, cook on one stove and drive one car is so true, as coined by Duran Duran's Nick Rhodes with the up side being that lots of unnecessary clutter is being consigned to the Charity Shop or re-purposed.  
    Meanwhile that well-known Swedish home wares store is proving exemplary in its space-saving furnishing and storage ideas.  In fact the opening and closing sequence of Ikea's small spaces film has given me hope and inspiration -  turning any glass half empty feelings on their head and persuading me that I will find some creative solutions!  I will!

Relationships - Different Strokes for Different Folks

    They say walking a dog is one of the quickest ways to make friends.  Especially when it is a very beautiful black Newfoundland called Tinkerbell.  When we lived in a village she was better known than us.  
    However now she lives in the inner-city and is getting a mixed reaction.  Her new home is distinctly multi-cultural and while she still gets lots of people stopping to pat her and say hello, one group of people go out of their way to avoid her - crossing the road to walk on the pavement there rather than pass her. 
     It was explained to me that in some cultures dogs, particularly black dogs, are seen as 'Devil Dogs' or linked to 'Death.'   Tinks is blissfully unaware of this of course and tries to make friends with everyone.  She'd have an attack of another sort of 'Black Dog' if she understood! Interesting - how prejudice and culture can close down a chance for communication and friendship even at this simple level.

Mortality - Living to have a good death.....

The quote about the certainty in life of 'death and taxes' is attributed to both Daniel Defoe in 1726 and Benjamin Franklin in 1817.  Margaret Mitchell added 'childbirth' to the list in Gone with the Wind in 1936.  Maybe not childbirth, but tax is much on the mind at the moment with this the time when dreaded returns are either late or in train.  And death too seems to be in the air this November with friends and auditors.  

Its so hard to find the right words to give comfort but being in the midst of sadness of both strangers and intimates several condolence poems, thoughts and prayers have been passed on and recycled.  One that has really hit the spot is the wise words attributed to a senior Master at Ampleforth, a Catholic British public school.  When asked what was the ethos of the school's teaching, he answered; "Our job is to prepare our pupils to live life in preparation for a good death." 

It has helped the bereaved of those who lived life well, and to find some purpose for themselves going forward, as has this poem which was left one friend in an envelope by her mother who died of cancer last month. 

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has live

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back 

Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left  

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her 

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone

Or you can cherish her memory let it live on 

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back 

Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

David Harkins